Today is the last day of 2012. The Mayan calendar (or the interpretations of it)  were wrong.  Life goes on. So with it, our daily tasks and struggles and service.

Walking with Jesus is supposed to be joyful.  I am learning it is not about getting but giving.  It is not on my terms but on His.

While I know my giving is supposed to be humble,  I really need to share some experiences from the end of this year.  I recently had a discussion with my 20 year old daughter about TV and media and how much it can jade you about the world; all the violence and sad news and tensions and emotional dysfunction portrayed as “reality”.

There is another reality. A truer one   It is quieter and you have to look for it to really experience it.

A Night of Wonder
My church  adopted a small public elementary school  just one exit up the freeway this year. This is a school, like so many across our nation where the kids often go home to empty cupboards for the weekend. Families that struggle with hunger and clothing needs. Upwards of 1500 volunteers descended on the campus in February and completely changed it putting in a baseball field, new play areas, a garden, painting the gym and all sorts of renovations.  We  even held a carnival for the students and family in the midst of all the work. Volunteers from my church have stayed involved during the year in reading programs and supporting  the administration  where normally a PTA would be involved.

Two weeks ago  my church held a “Night of Wonder”.  A  Tuesday night where the kids and their families were invited back to  the campus for  a sense of community.  I had a simple task. I was a “greeter”.  I stood at the door and welcomed  parents and children and families  into the school. Most were not smiling. I was joyful and pleased to see each person. Many did not even speak English but I knew a smile transcends all languages. In the course of the evening, each family was gifted boxes of food and a big bag of selected toys and gifts.  While the children did arts and crafts. the parents were guided back to the parking lot where volunteers guided them to their  packages and helped them load it all into their cars.  These kids would have food and Christmas! It really was a night of wonder.

Coming back in from the parking lot the joy and gratitude on these parents faces was real and genuine! All I did was hold the door.  But I got to see magic.  It touched my heart, deeply.  Days before, an elementary school up north had suffered an unspeakable tragedy. What was the world coming to?

Here, I saw parents and families from teens to little babies in strollers…coming to their elementary school with doubt on their faces, wondering what was next.  Then leaving with joy, gratitude and a visible peace.  The news of the world can be awful and give us a sense that all is wrong.  But if you roll up your sleeves, smile, hold a door, make time for others, Christ can heal what hurts. He did in me that night.

Food Bank Volunteering
I also signed up to volunteer at the local Food Bank. When I got there I was amazed at the number of people  who also showed up. There are many many people doing good things quietly all the time. Our job that night was too make “back pack” buddy bags. These hold roughly 6 meals for kids to take home so they could eat over the weekend when there was no school lunch program to tide them over. All sorts of people were there too long tables  and we worked while they played Christmas music. We raced each other and simply had fun. All while giving a few hours of time so others could be less hungry.   It was hard work. But it was joyful. in less than two hours we had crated over 2000 back pack buddy bags!  I did not get paid in money for my time but I got paid in joyfulness and knowing i was doing Christ’s work. Making a difference. What a feeling!

Now I don’t tell these stories of giving to boast. But to share the feelings of fullness and joy and purpose that came from getting involved.  It wasn’t easy. I had  just started a new job so getting the time off was a challenge, and the hours of pay I lost were significant.  But God filled my heart and did not let me go without. I am richer for having given to others.

Children and Giving
Recently I stumble upon this quote about the holiday season and guiding children to keep their hearts open.

“Ask your children two questions this Christmas. First: “What do you want to give to others for Christmas?” Second: “What do you want for Christmas?” The first fosters generosity of heart and an outward focus. The second can breed selfishness if not tempered by the first”.- Anonymous

Big Church
I have a 4 year old grandson and my daughter is bringing him to church regularly. He came home from Sunday School recently excited about his donation bucket and “giving his money to God.”  He wanted to give all the money in his bank to God.  I recall wanting to tell him  he should hold back some of his coins for himself.  We counted the coins and piled them up and I asked him which ones should go into the donation bucket.  He put most of the money in. All the adults around him also contributed. He was so proud the Sunday morning he got to go to “big church” and walk down the aisle and give his money to God. We were so proud of him.

He actually joined me in “big church” for the Christmas eve service. When I asked him why Christmas was special he told me because it was baby Jesus’  birthday! I half expected him to wiggle and make noise and I would have to take him out. But he did well.  In one of the songs that repeated the chorus… he learned the words and was singing with us…  and on key!   With heart and spirit. I smiled at him as he stood on his chair and sang!  What a wonderful introduction to “big church”  He held his candle high during Silent Night ( mom held his hand firmly too) . It was joyous.

Looking Back
This has been a tough year. Unemployment. The ending of a very dear, deep, close, relationship for me. People close to me struggling with  health worries and broken hearts.But this is also the year I gave myself to Christ. My Baptism. My joining the church as a member.  My learning to give instead of just fighting to survive or get ahead..

Looking Ahead
I begin 2013 knowing  that even as I mess up, get things wrong and face scary challenges ahead,  Jesus is with me. His grace and unconditional love will guide me and give me comfort.  It is new but it is a wonderful feeling of peace. I need to allow myself to feel it more and more.  I hope you as a reader find this too in the year ahead.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Proverbs 3:4-7

Here’s wishing everyone a glorious new year.